What’s your role, Dad? One surprising movie box office smash featured a hilarious story of role-reversal. Dad is fired, Mom is hired, and Dad has to stay home and deal with the kids, the pets, and the house. Perhaps this movie was so popular because so many men could identify with his plight.

Certainly, with the breakup of the family unit, an increasing number of homes with both parents working, the women’s movement, and the nation’s economic turmoil, the traditional parental roles are undergoing drastic changes. This, of course, leads to special identity problems and new family pressures.

In an article in the outstanding book Parents and Teenagers (presently out of print), the editors point out that Dad is especially susceptible. After all, the home is his "castle," he is the "breadwinner," and other assorted clichés. But Mom is also a valuable contributing member of the family. Dad needs to realize this and to act accordingly. The editors then offer 5 suggestions for him.

1. On the way home, he should prepare for the first ten minutes after he walks through the door as though they are the most important of his day. Instead of plopping in a chair, turning on the news, and hiding behind the paper, he should interact with Mom and the kids, using those minutes as sort of a "decompression chamber" where he comes out of the work mode and into the family. (And they note that wives should also protect those first ten minutes as special and avoid unloading their frustrations about the kids and the house.)

2. He should make childrearing and homework a team effort by asking, "How may I help you?" and taking the initiative in doing household tasks.

3. He must realize that just because Mom has been with the children more than he has doesn’t mean that they don’t need him, his listening ear, and loving touch.

4. He should know that when he brings home the paycheck, his work is not finished.

5. And should constantly ask (as should Mom), "Am I acting in love?"

It may well be that much of your role will continue to be the stereotypical expectations for fatherhood, but you may find that adding some special touches to your approach and clarifying who you are will make everything around home clearer. However much they may at times overlap, Mom’s role and Dad’s role are neither interchangeable, nor are they dispensable. Make your participation count!